Wifely Duties

There is so much confusion today within the roles of marriage. Culture tells woman to stand up for herself, fight her own battles, live for herself, etc. To set the record straight, I am neither a feminist nor a prude. However, the Bible is clear on the role of a wife.

#1 Ladies, we have to help our husbands. I was sitting with a group of moms recently, and we were talking about all the roles we have as mothers have and all the things we have to schedule, remember and do for our children. We began to talk about how these responsibilities typically fall on the shoulders of the mommy, while the dad gets to wrestle the kids and be the “fun” parent. A friend of mine gently spoke up and reminded us our husbands have much on their shoulders as well. They are scheduling, remembering and doing important things all day at their jobs too. They are providing for our families and are stressed too. 

With two toddlers, I am exhausted at the end of the day. When my spouse walks in the door, It is hard to think about what he needs because I am too busy exploding about how my day went wrong to even give him the chance to share the ups and downs of his day. 

The fact of the matter is, whether our men verbalize it or not, they need our help too. 

#2 Friends, we need to love him unconditionally. Yeah, maybe he is not perfect and does not do everything just like you want him to, but we have to accept him for the person he is and appreciate him to the fullest. Period.

#3 Girlfriends, we must respect our husbands. Okay, my intention was not to talking about sex in this post, but it fits here! I recently I overheard my husband joking to someone, and he said, “If our wives would respect us and have sex with us, all men would be happy!” Well, that totally makes sense! 

Showing respect to our husbands means we must build up their self-worth. We value his wisdom and follow his decisions. We need to end up back on the same team after a conversation, disagreement or argument. We should be his biggest fan and loudest cheerleader! He needs us to believe in everything he does, verbalize and show our support for him in all that he does.  He wants and needs our respect.

#4 Gals, we have to submit to our husband’s leadership. I know, I just rocked the boat, but for our marriages to last, our man has to be our leader. Let me be clear about what I am saying. I am not asking you to sit quietly and have no place in your marriage. I am not asking you to never share your opinion or not give input into a situation with your hubby. I am not asking you to be a doormat or be submissive to ungodly leadership. However, the Bible clearly tells us the man has the authority over decisions for our families, and we, as wives, must meet our husband with approval of the decisions they are making for our families. It is not always easy, but it is what the Bible calls us, as wives, to do. 

So how about we become women who are committed to helping our spouse-loving him, respecting him and submitting to his leadership? I’m up for the challenge, are you?

Follow the Dyers @ www.followthedyers.com
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3 thoughts on “Wifely Duties

  1. HeavenOnEarth

    Great post Brittany! I love what you said and how we need to approach marriage selflessly, with the other in mind. Thanks for this post … it’s a great reminder for us all! 🙂


  2. There’s the potential for this to backfire though: where abuse is involved. There’s a tendency to think “abuse doesn’t happen in my community”, but unfortunately it happens everywhere; a happy, peaceful loving home in which you nurture and support your partner is a wonderful, beautiful thing when you’re married to a good guy. But when love is truly unconditional and you’re completely submissive, it can lead you to put up with things you shouldn’t, like a life of misery and pain from staying with someone when you really should be running far, far away from.

    I know the article isn’t talking about that kinda guy, but the importance of being the backbone to a happy home can sometimes backfire in that context, and it’s sadly not an common plight for women, of faith or not, to find themselves in.

    We need to be careful who we give that unconditional love to, and if we’re maltreated, we need to love, respect and protect ourselves.


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